So...
I've finally decided to update.

Well, I've been back from Australia for more than 2 months now, kinda miss my time there come to think of it. I'm pretty sure I'll go back one way or another.

It was a blast.

1. Caught some of my favourite metal bands live. Nile, Decapitated, Lamb of God, Vader, Psycroptic, Dawn of Azazel. Watched a few bands I've never heard of, like 8 Ft Sativa, Empyrean, Pathogen, Terrorust and loads more.

2. Booze was cheap as piss there. Drank to my liver's worth. There were loads of old 'friends' - Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, Corona, Amsterdam. And i met some new guys too - Southern Comfort, Wild Turkey, Absinthe, Tooheys, Crown.

3. Working there was great. The research group i was part of for more than 3 months had a very hardworking atmosphere. My colleagues were friendly and helpful. It is interesting to note that apart from the boss who was Australian, the other researchers were Asian. And we all barely had any trouble communicating.

4. I learned more than i could have done with an attachment in Singapore. Sure, doing my attachment there cost a sum of money but it was well worth every cent i spent. Learned how to live away from my parents, handle my money, fix my own food, keep the house in livable conditions. Also self reflected a lot while i was there.

I've grown up having mixed feelings about Singapore. At times feeling a wave of fierce patriotism, while also hating the Machine its government has become. But if anything I believe the latter is what being a Singaporean is mostly about - disagreeing with the various ways the government seems to be increasing the cost of living and education, while doing absolutely nothing but bitch about it all day long.

Being away from home so long made me realise that its because we love our country so much, that we complain about everything that changes. There is still no place like home.


----------------
Now playing: Arch Enemy - Revolution Begins

ahh. less than 8 hours till i'm over the pacific.

to brisbane, australia.
for slightly over 3 months.
do check out the blog for this trip.
[link]

anyway gonna get some sleep now. some heavy dinner and hectic packing got me real tired.

out.

ah.
the inevitable anti-climax following an exam.

it never fails to feel this way.
during the exams i'm always distracted. inexplicably doing the last things on my mind instead of attending to the urgent matters, that being the revision.

and after the exams, when i'm left with practically all the time in the world, i refuse to do the stuff i've wasted my time on.

well. i notice i've not been attending to this journal. see? evidence of the syndrome mentioned above.

life's been pretty interesting.
stayed over at elroy's place with dharma on the eve of chinese new year. and following that i had a really queasy stomach. due to the lack of rest after an indigestible reunion dinner at a buffet restaurant.

so i spent the first day of lunar new year mostly in my grandma's bed. catching up on sleep and a personal struggle to hang on to whatever mild food i tried to eat..
all the whilst greeting my relatives and receiving ang paos.

the rest of the week was great.
spent almost every other day with her.
watched a couple of movies, roller bladed (here i will say that i cant blade to save my life), went to sentosa.

caught the carling cup final with dharma and chee yan at my place. entertaining yet disappointing match. oh well. with arsenal fielding a second grade squad the 2-1 loss seemed pretty reasonable.

my flights scheduled at 4 March. but i've yet to receive my sponsorship visa. thus halting the process of my visa application. its really getting on my nerves. if i dont get it today i highly doubt the possibility of flying by sunday.

i should also point out that if everything had went according to plan, i would have been in Australia two days ago. that should give you a gauge of how late i am.

all my friends serving the local attachment have started theirs already. no idea how their doing at the moment. must remember to catch up with them.

i've got a few more things to buy. additional insurance, locks, and an ipod charger just to name a few.

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i should be sleeping now.
if not the fact that i was rudely awakened by the racket caused by my parents trying to wake my brother up for school. he seems to be skipping classes a tad to often lately. i'm not really one to intervene. so i didnt.

i couldnt fall asleep after that (just like i couldnt last night. took me almost 2 hours to drift away).
so i decided to get out of bed.
it was still dark out. been some time since i woke as early as this. nice isnt it. being around to experience the gradual changes of light intensity in the early mornings. wasnt much of the sunrise, too cloudy.

well. probably should get around to getting some stuff done today.
happy lunar new year.
out.

PS. i just read The Mephisto Club by Tess Gerritsen. pretty brutal. good crime writing.

i do the damnest things when i have to study.
every time.

since i tried to study today i have

1. tried to write new riffs on the guitar.
2. picked up a book to re-read.
3. tried to settle my air tickets and accommodation in australia.
4. slept.
5. started this entry.

and these are the shit i would NEVER-fucking-EVER do when i have acres of time to spare.

my brain is just anti-study.
or maybe... i have ADD.

well whatever.
hopefully i get far enough before i feel lazy again.

-"and maybe someday always comes again"
how appropriate for a champion procrastinator like me.

Leg 1 of the ASEAN Cup Final
Singapore 2 - 1 Thailand.

pretty strange. the Thais protested and didnt play after Singapore was awarded a penalty at the 85th minute.

everyone was just sitting around not knowing what to do.

pretty intense game.

anyway. its less than a month before i leave for Australia. its kinda exciting yet kinda scary at the same time.

like i would be living without my parents.
cope with things like laundry, ironing, cooking.
missing all the loved ones i would be leaving behind for nearly 4 months.

but then my friends and i would be having such good times together.
boozing, chilling, exploring together.

probably the highlight of my poly life.

well here's a list of things i would like to do before i leave for Australia.

1. watch Absence of the Sacred and Oshiego live.
2. cycle thru town in the middle of the night.
3. have a huge feast. (maybe steamboat at my house)
4. party like crazy.
5. clear all my reservations at Inokii.

yeah. thats about it.
oh yeah.

6. pass all my damned exams. but i wont know my results till like i'm over there.

so anyway if anyone would like to help me achieve no.5, i would gladly accept your kinda gesture.

by the way.. i've been working on some deviations. hopefully i wont wanna do and Photoshop-ing before submission. should up after the exams.

till then..

2007.

"so this is the new year
and I don't feel any different.."
The New Year - Death Cab for Cutie

yeah i agree. sometimes when life gets mundane, the new year can feel like it has no significance.

well its not that kind of a new year for me.
and i am thankful.

just back from cruise with the bros.
it was a refreshing break.
didnt sleep the last night.

we spent that time catching up and stuff.
talked about our past, our girlfriends, our future, our insecurities and our problems.

i love those guys.
they have helped me and been there for me for as long as i can remember.

its been about 9 years since we knew each other.
and what a great 9 years it has been.
helped each other with our ups and downs.
chilled, had supper, played soccer, jammed together.

wonderful memories.

i feel a tinge of regret that we are about to go our separate ways.
actually we have experienced that before when we went to our different colleges.

but now its more than that. i'll be in brisbane for a good long 3.5 months. while dharma will be in the army serving NS. elroy would be  busy with his A levels and chior.

well. i guess everyone goes through something like this.

friends.
they are golden.

goodnight 2007.

muscles aching like fuck.
gym and street soccer.
i'll never push myself on the bicep curl machine again.
now i'm paying for it.
cant stretch my arms out.

i kinda suck at soccer now.

anyway. its been fun hanging out with the guys. havent been able to do that. not since nearly 2 years ago when we finished our Os.

we're all growing up.
the cruise on the 29th will probably be the last one we would be going for a long long time.
after that Dharma's got NS, and me and Elroy would have another year of studying to complete, after which would be our turn to serve NS.

and then i'll probably be gone to Australia to further my studies.

there's hardly any time left in our lives.
not like mundane everyday life. wont be anymore have-fun-just-kicking-it-life.

well. the rest is just about
doing what we need to do.
doing what we can do.
and
doing what we love to do.

right now i love to be with her.
but she's away in thailand.
wont be back till 25.

no matter. i'm not a christmas person.
just miss her thats all.

but i guess it'll be worse for her when i'm away in Brisbane for my attachment in Feb.
because its way longer that her this trip to thailand.

well. i've got an idea from someone and i'm off to execute it.

till next time.

tests are over.
no more tests.
two weeks free.

going to australia.
for attachment
leaving after CNY
3 and a half months.

just kickin' it.

i've been kinda busy.

but its just about to get busier.

i've got
a Cell Culture project,
an Entreprenuership project,
a Christmas RHCD event to organise,
a Leo-Soleil big-scale fundrasing to organise.

on top of that i've got all the regular homework and practical reports, as well as tonnes of revision to do.

just went cycling last week. it was fun.
cycling alone. with mogwai in your ears and haze in your face.
went from my house to telok kurau. to east coast rd. to siglap. to bedok. then to tampines. it was really long. about 2 hours to and fro.

i havent cycled this much for a long time.

just cleared a couple of my reservations.
kataklysm - in the arms of devastation (nulcear blast 2006)
amon amarth - with oden on our side (metal blade 2006)

and i've still got these to clear
Kreator - Terrible Certainty (i think... cant rmb which one i reserved.)
Lamb Of God - Sacrement
Quo Vadis - Defiant Imagination
Pantera - Cowboys of Hell

i'm totally into all the amon amarth stuff.
i've got
the avenger
the crusher
fate of norns
versus the world
with oden on our side.

only missing
once sent from the golden hall
sorrows throughout the nine worlds

and i'm trying to get my hands on more falkenbach.

all these norse stuff are just amazing.

anyway. i've got to go now.

till next time.

i'm having a pleasant day.

had my first ever flag day today. was kinda disappointed that my buddies couldnt make it cuz they went for overnight fishing, which i decided not to go.

but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
if they had turned up i would probably end up talking to them instead of doing my job properly.

never thought i'ld be good at doing stuff like this. like interacting with strangers. met some really unkind / uncaring / rude folks. but i also encountered some really kind and generous souls that really made my day.

approached every single person who crossed the overhead bridge in Chinatown. except when i was tending to a donation of course. and i returned with a fairly heavy tin, considering that we only did like 3 hours of flag selling.

and i'm proud that i've done a good job.

went home after flag day.
practised guitar. went out to meet her.

had dinner at a really nice place. its this pasta restaurant along the katong area. like the food isnt superb or anything. its isnt like very well decor-ed either. its just that the place is so small. and there's like no one around. just plain cosy and private. throughout our entire dinner not a single person stepped in. except that dodgy guy who was trying to sell something to the workers.

and this reminds me of that cafe that isnt too far away from this restaurant. it has a similar atmosphere. simple and quiet. the other time we had dinner there they even dimmed the lights for us. how cool is that. really humble service.

been doing some experimenting lately. playing around with shutter speeds and using elements like fire and light. will post as soon as i perfect the techniques and my concepts.

i think i've really found meaning in what i am currently doing.
i'm no longer merely existing. i think i'm actually living my life as of now. i just got to get my priorities and self-discipline in order.

one thing i really need to do is to focus and straighten out my studying. and i'm gonna do that for the entire morning and afternoon tomorrow. no excuses this time.

oh yeah one more thing.
i've got a friend who's feeling really down cause of extremely complicated situations she's in.
so this goes out to her: be strong! find yourself!

have fun and good night to all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Poor Song

Baby im afraid of a lot of things
But i ain't scared of loving you
Baby i know you're afraid of a lot of things
But don't be scared of love
Cause people will say all kinds of things
That don't mean a damn to me
Cause all i see is what's in front of me
And thats you

Well, i've been dragged all over the place
I've taken hits time just don't erase
And baby i can see you've been fucked with too
But that don't mean your loving days are through
Cause people will say all kinds of things
That don't mean a damn to me
Cause all i see is what's in front of me
And thats you

Well i may be just a fool
But i know we're just as cool
And cool kids...
they belong together
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yeap. first day of school.

some modules seem really damn boring. like Cell Culture and Tissue Applications.
bloody lecturer.

i've decided to be a lot more concious about my studies.
and now i'm taking a break from revising what i just learnt today.
see the change?
hahaha.

yeah. back to school. so that means less time for slacking around and taking photos and doing sketches.
will be sometime before i upload again.

anyway i'm fucking addicted to this song.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eternal Tears Of Sorrow
The River Flows Frozen
A Virgin A Whore

Like frozen leaves
We are falling
On to the soil so barren and cold

The rays of sun
No more warming
Our hearts now so cold

Through this field
Of the withered flowers
We go still one more time

The hidden beauty
Forever gone
The river's frozen once again
  
So came this time
When moonlight blackened my heart…
I can't stand this pain
  
The chain is broken
It's tearing open my scars…
I want to feel the flame...again
  
The shine behind
The frozen stream
Reminds me of your eyes
  
The spark of hope
Still in my heart
Shall dreams become true under the ice?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i havent updated in a while.
there are a few old pictures i've decided to post.

and i've been working on some minor photoshop projects.
just to get familiarised with the software.

i've also done a couple of drawings on black paper. think i'll put them under scraps. might wanna extend them into fully digital works.

i'll be putting these up-

photos:
conformist.
holey shit.
sun in your eyes.

photoshop:
reflection.
giver of light.

drawings (scraps):
DiEPod.
the black pope.

on a different note.
i'm going to Slayer on friday.
still cant believe they're coming to singapore.
not really a big fan of Slayer but i'm just going anyway.

0327

yes i'm back.

its been some time.

exams are over.

i actually did an entry on paper. so yeah probably gonna put it up soon.

no idea why i decided to post.

till next time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
0340

ah what the fuck. might as well put it up.

here goes:

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26/08/06
1641

exams are over.
damn i'm glad they are.
think i really fucked up this time.

yesterday was pretty fun. went out with my coursemates.
we had dinner at bugis and went to chill at an alfresco bar behind meridian.
i drank despite previously deciding not to.
i had not really slept the night before.
and the night before that as well.
yeah. managed to get back on night rider.

anyway i'm sitting at Coffee Master Cafe in Katong Mall.
again.
i was her last week mugging for AMB
but today i'm simply chilling.
writing this on paper cuz i didnt want to bring my laptop.

i dunno. i still prefer writing to typing.
seems such a pitty that we are losing touch with the more literal meaning of "the written word".
hand written text should be embraced in its irregular glory. besides its a lot more personalised.
i mean. you can sometimes recognise a friend's hanwriting. and on occasions like this you can hardly block out the bursting inviduality of a person's handwriting.

haha. its a wonder what a night of destressing can do to my brain.
or maybe its my black emo notebook.
or maybe the cafe.
probably the cafe.

i just love this place.
small. quiet. simple.
pure laid-back.
and the coffee aint bad.
i'll take this place over any money driven cafe franchise anyday.
the owners probably DIY-ed this place.
everything from the simplistic table cloth to the old postcards stuck on the ceiling.

there's barely a soul in here.
and its close to the road.
so if the coffee aint your cup of tea. and the magazines aint your cup of coffee. then you could still gaze out the window at the people and traffic.
great for existentialists and/or idlers.
my favourite place to space out.

last week i was looking across the street and there's this 2 unit, 2 storey shophouse for sale.
looks big.
and i was playing with the idea of opening a studio.
i guess that just a dream for now.

like jim's dream of opening a restaurant.
he seems really serious about it.
he even made a pact with his ex-classmate.
ha.
maybe i could convince him to have a bar and stage too.
then we could perform on weekends or something.
that would be fun.
hell. if i had money i would invest in it haha.
but thats if i have the money.

sigh. i've got half a mind to ditch my biomedical studies and start my own business.
seriously.
maybe its fueled by how much i despise having to study.
i dunno.
but i've heard from people that starting your own business aint a piece of cake.

*****
oh yeah.
slayer's coming to town.
well. technically its Singapore Expo.
got my tickets.
*****

gonna soak in the arts during the hols.
as usual.
this time i'm gonna start a new project with milton.
we'll be writing soft stuff.
might get elroy to do vocals.
i really hope this one goes well.
the emocore project just crumbled when nabil left.
might try to revive that one too. i dunno.

definitly catching more gigs this hols.
slayer, battle of the bands, headbanger's holocaust.
maybe others as well.

hans suggested that we do some urban exploration.
as in photography.
yeah. sounds like a good idea.
maybe get ivan to join us.

gonna teach ivan and leonard guitar.
hopefully they would be able to pick it up and do me proud haha.

and i wanna take up piano by myself.

think i'll wanna borrow my cousins' electric organ. which they dont use. ha.

yeah.
go to gigs.
write songs with milton.
revive core project.
urban exploration.
teach guitar.
go for camp.

yeah, that about sums up about my plans for the break.

till next time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeah. thats about it.

its late.
i'm listening to death cab now.
thanks to siti i got a relapse of the indie fever.

anyway i just completed two death cab t0rr3nt5.
haha l337 to escape the law.

this song makes me want to cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Death Cab For Cutie.
Someday You Will Be Loved.
Plans.

I once knew a girl in the years of my youth,
With eyes like the summer of beauty and truth.
But in the morning I fled; left a note and it read,
"Someday you will be loved."

I can not pretend that I felt any regret,
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend.
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread,
Someday you will be loved.

You'll be loved, you'll be loved.
Like you never have known.
And the memories of me will seem more like bad dreams.
Just a series of blurs like I never occurred.
Someday you will be loved.

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep,
And every time tears roll down your cheeks.
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet.
And someday you will be loved.

wahaha. got my first comments and favourites.
received two comments for miniscule tsunami.

i give my thanks to john0452 and yume-yukino.

well i'm slightly motivated to contribute more of my stuff to DA.

recently i've been trying to teach myself Photoshop CS without any prior knowledge.

hope it comes of use.

i might upload some lit work in a bit.

till next time...

okay,

apparently modblog is getting too unstable and i decided to switch.
so now here i am with an empty page.

i decided on deviant art cuz i wanted a blog as well as a place to host my pics and stuff.
i'm very accustomed to modblog's style of hosting and stuff.
and i'm totally new here.

i dunno.
seems like there's a bunch of hardcore artists around here.
feel a little awkward since i'm very shallow with art.

i've tried some comtemporary photography, extremely amaturish sketching, simple poetry but i've never gotten serious.
just an interest you know. nothing concrete yet.

i remember browsing da ages ago. getting inspired by their great talent pool.
and i was feeling it you know.
feeling the art bug.

but i only really started after my aunt got me the w800i.
i could take extremely clear photos. i even tried meddling with the white balance and stuff like that.

i did a few pictures based on photos i saw here that were really cool. (i'll be glad to credit it to the muses if i actually found them again.) i did some of my own stuff, cliched stuff like barbed wires and all.

i lost my phone recently so yeah i guess i wont be taking photos for a while now. just hosting old stuff.

so yeah. i'm new here.
if anyone's kind enough to show me the ropes i'll be really grateful.
i could really use a few deviant friends

out.

(i'll post my stuff as soon as i get the time. school's killing me.)